The Sexual Predator Game

Given the fact that it’s Wednesday, and nothing cool ever really happens on Wednesday, I have come up with a game that is fun for everyone. Every few months or so, I get on the National Sex Offenders Registry, and enter my zip code in. I just want to make sure that guys like Old Man Jenkins down the street aren’t exposing themselves to passing children. I also enter all of my friend’s names, you know, just to make sure. They are around my kids every once in awhile. I have to make sure nobody is going to perv out, and cause me to beat them with a garden tool. I was going through, and looking at the perv’s photos, and once I stopped laughing uncontrollably, I came up with the greatest game of all time. It’s called,” Guess What Sex Offence This Perv Did!” All you have to do is look at their picture, and guess what they did. I promise you; 9 out of 10 times you can guess what they did. You should see some of these characters. I couldn’t make up some of these guys. They must make them look extra pervy for the picture just to add a little something extra. “ Um could you please put these oversized Harry Carey glasses on, and do you mind if we cut your hair into a skullet? You look a little too normal for us, and we can’t have that. What about if we change your smile to be a bit more creepy?”

I’ve come up with a formula that is pretty close to full proof. The bigger the glasses, the younger the victim is. These people should be beaten with a bedpost. Anyway, it’s a great game to play with family and friends, or just to pass time at work. Granted, you might creep out your co-workers because they are wondering why you are on the sex offender registry, but it’s worth it. You get 1 point for each correct charge, and 10 bonus points if you know someone on the list. I’m willing to bet that the creepy guy who gives you bad vibes down the street is most likely on the list. My all-time record is 12 out of 14. Try and beat that!