Old Blog That Made Me Laugh

Why are the Chick-fil-A cows illiterate? I understand that most cows don't particularly spell well, but these cows are different. They're smart enough to create a rebellious campaign thwarting people from eating meat. Hell, I've seen one use an overhead projector, and even operate a crane. I just don't understand what constitutes them not being able to spell. I don't like it one bit.

Coyotes! They're seriously running lose and creating havoc. We already live in world of constant fear. The last thing I need to be worried about when I'm taking the garbage out is a coyote attack. I'm not Pecos Bill; I live in the fucking suburbs.
I swear to God if I hear one thing about Hyenas on the loose…

Today's crossword puzzle in the Houston Chronicle is harder than Roger Clemens at a Miley Cyrus concert. I can puzzle with the best of the best, but I'm almost positive Jesus would have some problems with a few of these.

Will Fidel Castro please die? Did he and Ponce de Leon find the fountain of youth together (the fountain that keeps you looking like an old bearded Cuban for eternity)? I like oppression as much as the next guy, but I'm tired of his crap. No, literally I ate Cuban food once and pooped out a refugee.

I hate bums with political agendas. I hate bums enough as it is, but now they have the audacity to solicit me about my vote AND ask for spare change! Not on my watch, bucko.
Besides, why would I vote for someone after the guy holding the sign urinates on my headlight?

Congress, stay the fuck out of sports and maybe concentrate on issues like gas prices or the economy. America's going broke, but at least we'll get to the bottom of the Patriots' video tape scandal! Gas prices will be $476.88 a gallon, but at least Congress will have confirmed the abundant use of steroids in Major League Baseball!