Hater, Bout to Break The Equator.

Do you ever hate people for absolutely no reason at all? I’m talking pure and utter disdain based on nothing. I find that I hate more and more people as I get older. Either, people are easier to hate or I’m one cynical son of a bitch. It’s probably a combination of both. I can’t help it. I received a call earlier from a guy that works for an ad company I’ve been dealing with, and I instantly wanted to sucker punch him through the phone. He had one of those “I definitely suck wieners, but I overcompensate my manliness with my accent, because I’m still in the closet” voices. Normally, this wouldn’t bother me, but he actually answered my obligatory, “how are you this morning?” Don’t ever fucking answer that question. I got to hear about how hot it was outside, and how horrible traffic was on his commute. Heat AND bad traffic in Houston? That’s like me telling Lindsey Lohan that doing more coke doesn’t treat despair. It took me fifteen minutes to tell him that I didn’t want to run the ad until next week!

Fat people, I hate em’. I’m no underwear model, but something about obese people really annoys me. I automatically picture them at a table with a napkin bib on and a huge meatball sub in their hands. I also assume that they’re the people that meticulously critique movies on message boards.

I REALLY hate the bad joke telling stranger in line that assumes I care about anything he says.

Stranger: “Pringles, eh? Once you pop, you truly can’t stop, right? (Chuckle)”
Me: “Sir, we’re at the bank.”

I think this is a definite recurring topic. I have a lot of hate inside of me. No, hate is not the name of my lover…