Ramblings

I’m sure everyone is now familiar with the 25 things about you list that has circumnavigated the intricate highways of the facebook network. After finishing my own list, I first thought that if it was that hard to share 25 things about myself, then I must really not be that interesting. That’s really all we want is to be interesting. I don’t have to be liked, in fact I actually like ridicule and disdain. I guess that makes me somewhat masochistic? If everyone widely accepted me as being awesome, then why work hard at anything? A small remark like, “you suck monkey lint,” tells me two things; 1. I in fact suck monkey lint and 2. You can’t have everything, Patrick, so get back to work. I had no intent on making this blog thought provoking, or even serious. I really wanted to share a few more random things about myself and what’s going on in that brain of mine.

Who is the guy that made Kelly Clarkson so angry? He seriously must have stolen her identity and killed her pet the same day he broke up with her. Carrie Underwood took to criminal damaging of property, but Clarkson is taking it to a whole other level. She wants
this guy to drown in an eel tank, or die of thirst.

I get some of the funniest random text messages from my degenerate friends, and I’d like to share a few. Here’s a quick exchange between and buddy and I.

Friend: I was an extra in Twilight.
Me: You were an extra in Philadelphia.
Friend: You were a fluffer in Milk.
Me: You were the lead in Coyote Ugly.

Retarded, right? The worst part is that I still laugh when I read it. I think it’s funny. Denial can be so sweet sometimes.

I’m officially on the down slope. I can now say that I have back pain. My lower back feels like I had 1500 consecutive butterfly tramp stamps tattooed in a Mexican border town.

I’ve been dying to write a screenplay. I was watching an old movie about Sam Houston the other night, and after weeping for a few hours over the independence of Texas, I got inspired and wrote a sad but inspirational film entitled, “Fast and The Furious 4: Cheetahs in Brooklyn.”

I want to be sponsored by something. Anything, really. Trolli Gummy worms, perhaps?

Almost 27 and I still create myself on video games.

Get the hell off Michael Phelp’s case. The guy brings nothing but golden glory to the country, and if he wants to light up some hippie lettuce then so be it. Oh, by the way, HE’S AN F’ING SWIMMER!

The Super Bowl commercials were terrible. Why don’t the Budweiser Clydesdales play football anymore? They’ve reduced to frolicking and canoodling with horse carnies. I had no idea that horses had Irish accents. Can anyone confirm that the voice in that commercial was Gerard Butler? I would’ve loved to see the horse scream, “Spartans!”

I really hate any highlighter that is colored differently from blinding yellow.

Does anyone know somebody that has made a rubber band ball? How in the hell do you begin?

That’s all for now. Good day.