Getting Old

I've had it up to here with all the Spring Break talk (Here is right around my Sternum if you were wondering.). Why is it so heavily publicized when the majority's Spring Break consists of the same rigorous routine PLUS more traffic caused by drunken teenagers in loud colored Nissan Xterras? There aren't any beach parties featuring oddly dressed DJ's playing songs featuring T-Pain. There aren't any cocktails served in exotic fruits, and the only wet t-shirt contest involves me sweating while taking the trash out (It's a long haul to the dumpster, got it?). There is literally nothing different except for the fact that every asshole with time off will constantly remind you that they're having a blast while you update your Twitter page.

Why do students deserve time off? Is their stressful life of Pac Sun and Student Council meetings deserving of a week of debauchery? Don't even get me started on college students! "Here's a free week to just keep doing what you do every night, drink like Charles Barkley and spread communicable diseases." As you can see, I'm fired up like a pack of jackals in a rabbit pen. F it! I'm going to get hammered at work and dress like Zack Morris at Jessie's Dad's wedding in Hawaii. I will play loud offensive music that I don't understand due to the use of that weird robot voice effect every artist on earth uses. I will never, NEVER take off my sunglasses...EVER!!! You haven't seen fun yet! Tank tops? You bet your ass...

I'd totally throw a hula party if 24 weren’t on tonight. Tomorrow? Nope, American Idol. Wednesday? Maybe...no, American Idol results show AND Lost! Thursday, then? HA, The Office, Grey's Anatomy. Surely Friday? DAMNIT...Friday Night Lights. FINE! My life is boring and I LOVE IT! While you Spring Breakers are out acting like Tweeter and Billy Bob on Varsity Blues, I'll be watching WHATEVER I WANT on demand. Chew on that a bit, you hell birds. I'm going to go copy something, and fax it! Try doing that on a beach, Slum Dog! I'm OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!