Mega Shark vs. Mega Octopus

I've learned a few things during my quiet, uneventful weekend. First, SyFy makes the most terribly great movies of all-time. I dare anyone to see Mega Shark vs. Mega Octopus on your guide and NOT at least check it out. I was rewarded with an epic/comical shot of a less than pleased Mega Shark biting through the Golden Gate Bridge. This obviously caught my attention. There is a level of terrible in cinema that is so far left that it almost becomes great.

Watching this movie was quite confounding for me. For the first time, I felt like I could become a great screenwriter. Someone was paid to write this script. That someone could very well be a room full of stoned academically suspended film students, but that's neither here nor there. Anything goes on SyFy. Anything. The normal barriers of reality don't apply. For instance, torpedoes and high caliber bullets deflect off Mega Shark. In fact, they just make him more perturbed. The American military somehow answers to a shady pony-tailed man with seemingly no affiliation to any branch of Government. An Asian scientist with undoubtedly a tiny bird hooks up with a blond researcher played by Deborah Gibson. Using 80's teen sensations are a standard on SyFy. This was proven slightly later as Tiffany had to battle against Mega Piranha eating their way to Washington. Apparently, these fish had the wherewithal to try and take down our infrastructure. I would write a script for free just to have the creative freedom to defy the laws of science and bad dialogue.

Please watch this movie if you ever see it on! You'll be sitting there saying, "what the fuck is going on," and will probably change channels more than a dozen times, but something will bring you back. SyFy is a lot like my blog. There are literally thousands of other things you could be reading, but you're here for a solid let down. You're one dirty bitch, America.